Teenage dream

my teenage dream

You're 14. What do you know about love? Okay, that's rhetoric. I'm almost twice that age and i still don't know what I know about love. Ask your parents, or grandparents. What do we know about love? Socrates may have the answer, because he said "all I know is I know nothing."

So kiddo, you're 14 and you "fell in love" with a girl in your school. She used to be your seat mate back in second grade and you once lent her your pencil. You teased her a lot--about her weight, her bad breath, her ridiculous accent, her sticky skin, her crappy hello kitty notebooks and most of all her big bulky curly hair. 

But after six years of growing pains and boyhood you realized the opposite sex is called the "opposite sex" for something. That somehow your being a tool's got to change fast. What was that feeling? Every time you see the girl you used to beat the crap out of back in grade school is growing to become a fine woman, there was an adrenaline rush... something came up (no pun intended) and it's called a teenage dream. Smitten by her long black hair, white teeth without braces, sparkling eyes, suddenly she smells great... she's now taller than you, growing in all sort of places you used to puke about.  

My oh my how she's grown to be someone you never thought you would like. And that feeling is priceless. Savor it. It's not first love. Might be puppy love. But what it really is... is your only fond memory of your innocence on attraction. Naivete. What do you know about love? Let me guess, it's the longing for someone's attention, for some connection, for something you and the other can share. The feeling that you should spend 24/7 with that person. The only one who matters. The world stops and your heart skips a beat. You've never felt this way before. And you'll die tomorrow if you can't let this all out today. You had to try and say it. Nothing is more important.

My friend, you are dead wrong. Like you were wrong about the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. Like you were wrong about wrestling and Superman. It gets complicated. Talk to me after 10 years and tell me what you think love is. Talk to me after 20, 30, 40 years and tell me something about love. You will never look at love the same way you look at that girl who caught your eye in high school like living will never be the same again. 

I just wish it is as simple as that. Back in high school you just have a crush, and for all you know she's already the one. We've all been there. I get it that Katy Perry sang about living a teenage dream. It's when life is so simple that you don't have to worry about getting married, having kids, paying the bills and amortizing your house. It's the only time you don't have to worry about not getting along, compromising, and breaking each other's neck for all you care. The only thing you care about is the two of you... the world can end.

10 years later, you're 24 (obviously I can add). At this day and age it's hard to find a teenage dreamy feeling. The world's not as simple as it was back in high school. Besides, the girl in your teenage dreams might have ended up looking like an elephant 10 years later. Kidding aside, ignorance is really sometimes better. Innocence is better. Because the world is not as great as advertised. You would want to be a 14-year old loser all your life because the world is a bigger bully than all the jocks in high school combined. 

And if you're looking for the girl of your dreams.... sure there are plenty of fishes in the sea. The perfect woman is maybe out there. But love is hard to find. It's okay to feel teeny dreamy every now and then but it shouldn't rock your world like when you were 14. Be mature. Enjoy. In the end we all know nothing about love. About relationships and how it's going to turn out. We just don't. It's a good feeling. But a teenage dream is still just a dream. You will have to wake up sooner or later.

So be sure to choose the right one. Take your time. Don't rush it like a teenage dream. Because remember... there's always a bigger fish. Make sure you won't regret eating a catfish when a caviar comes along. 

If you're 14 and having a teenage dream, enjoy. If you're my age and having the same dream, wake up. It's probably a bad one. But if you can't help it, I just hope you have a dreamcatcher. It might be worth the try. 

Pipe dream

I will never be this guy

I always talk about dreaming big. After all, I am the Dream Economist. For me, all you need is a pair of hope, a cup of will, an ounce of determination, and a tablespoon of looking at the brightside. And there you have it, the recipe for success. For reaching that big dream. It works. Look at the Forbes Magazine-worthy life-stories of tycoons and you'll hear them say the same thing. 

But what if those are not enough? Is there such a thing as hard luck? Unfortunately, there is.

Better be lucky than great. No matter how much effort or time you put into it, sometimes those are not good enough. Sometimes, luck is what separates billionaires from the poor, haves from the have-nots, and kingpins from the slaves. Luck is the kicker, the thing that not everyone has. Luck essentially catapults an individual from nothingness to awesomeness. 

I mean look at Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. I am sure there are other people who are capable of coming up with personal computers in the 70s, but these two pulled it off with a combination of right timing and opportunities presented. Maybe right timing is everything. Maybe. But what if that time doesn't come? Mr. Gates and Mr. Jobs both had the right time on their teams. 

Look at Charice Pempengco. She didn't win a local contest in the Philippines but was lucky enough to be discovered by the likes of David Foster and Oprah Winfrey. I am sure, there are thousands of talents that are much better than her without a record label or any opportunity to showcase their talents. AT ALL. (not that I am not impressed with her, but I know there are a lot of people waiting to be given a chance)

Look at Manny Pacquaio. Look at the winners of reality TV shows who are now famous for who-knows-what. Look at lottery winners who became instant millionaires.

Reality is harsh. Because not every one has the same share of the pie. Big slices are allocated for a selected few--no matter how we feel we are more deserving than those few people. While economics deal with the allocation of scarce resources, sometimes economics is a b*tch because that allocation is skewed towards the lucky few. The spread of luck is uneven. (and now the more reason to hate life?)

I am not saying lucky people aren't deserving to have luck on their sides. I am not saying they didn't work hard to be in that position (I am sure they did). But luck is a breakthrough everyone should have and not just a select few. At least that's how I feel about it. 

Oh well that's life. And most people end up by saying "I make my own luck." That's true. Create opportunities. Work around the system. Hard luck doesn't have to stop us from accomplishing that dream. What's the cliche "try and try until you succeed" is for anyway? 

For me, yes. Pipe dreams do exist. I know for sure that I won't be a billionaire by the time I am 40 (which means I am still hoping to be a billionaire when I'm fifty haha). I know for sure that I won't grow any taller than I already am (which is just sad but I've accepted that God compensated my physical limitations with something else...). I know for sure that I won't be like John Mayer or Jason Mraz (although I somehow think my music is worth listening to). I needed luck to have all of those. But LUCK didn't go so well for me in those aspirations. 

But we all have to look past those luck issues and start making up for it in other ways. I always say it could have been worse. Yeah, it could have been worse. Look at this video. In the end we are all lucky to be here. To be where we are now, no matter how much we feel deprived of the things we want and the things we need.

Luck may be what separates us from our pipe dreams, wants, and what-have-yous. We can all have the recipes for success and it may not be enough still. We may consider luck as the secret ingredient. But it shouldn't stop us from living life to the fullest. Luck may be a shortcut and your ticket to whatever. But when the dust settles, the important thing to remember is to make the best use of what we have, and not what we can/should/could have. Life ain't measured by the end result--because we all have the same ending anyways--but by the means, effort and journeys we took. We can always take a jab at dreams and successes everyday. 

And luck is just there to make things a little more interesting. 

The Perfect Woman

she's right up there

No boys, it's not Anne Curtis Smith. Although in my list she might be right up there.  It's not Ximena Navarette. Although the title she represents puts her in that position easily. It's not Miranda effin' Kerr. Although everybody envies Orlando Bloom for snagging that one (really good job Mr. Bloom). 

It's certainly not Pokwang (at least according to Mo Twister). Not even Queen Latifah, Hilary Swank or Julia Roberts. Certainly not Vice Ganda (although the category might not fit him/her in the first place). And no "although" in this paragraph.

The bottom line is, we men are superficial at first. We know a good one when we see it. We appreciate physical beauty. But that's just the surface. Because in the end, looks account for nothing if you don't bring in the substance. 

And the criteria's not the same for everyone. Some like it hot, some like it simple. Some guys like the smile, some like the dimples. Some like big bold eyes, some are into Chinitas. Some like girls with short boyish hair, some people prefer long black hair. Some guys prefer fair complexions, while others are into morenas. 

Judging physical beauty is complicated. It really is in the eye of the beholder. But what makes a difference is the way she handles herself. If she reveals her true aura. Because girls--no matter how pretty--are still insecure. But if girls could just move past those insecurities and reveal who they really are, then it's a whole new ballgame. Men (well at least I speak for my not-so-superficial self, who can be found every now and then) also like character. Not just legs, fronts and be-hinds although those would be nice. Okay that's a little hard to accept, but if you're looking for smart-straight-eligible guys, prolonged affection should be supported by character.

Sad part is, guys only find a girl's real character after several dates, several months... several years. or even more. In economics, this problem is called Asymmetric Information. A guy may know something that the girl doesn't and vice-versa (and it's easy to take advantage of the situation because of this). There's no such thing as perfect information. If there is, then the market is operating under a perfect condition. We are always correct, and we always get what we paid for. So guys (like girls) have criteria for defining a perfect woman and it may include a lot of fronts, backs, aboves and belows, but it's incomplete. Girl may be all those, but she's keeping something that will be discovered after a long period of time. Guys are like that too. 

Girls are famous for their usually high standards for guys, e.g. tall dark and handsome (which is I consider poetic since I don't have any of those... haha). Then they have the smart, independent and rich criteria. But in the end they end up with bad boys with tattoos and a killer instinct. But this is another story. Girls are famous for their standards, and guys have their own. But really, what are standards for? 

I'd gladly have a girl who's 5'7" tall, fair-skinned, with long black hair and killer smile, eyes worth a million bucks and a pair of legs to die for. But that doesn't stop there. The list goes on and on. And the irony of it all is you throw it all away just for anyone. For someone you met at the bar, or for some childhood friend in your teenage dreams. Standards are just there to confuse us guys from defining what we want from what we need. Substance should make or break a budding relationship. Substance prolongs attraction. Substance REPLACES attraction. 

The perfect woman may be someone who will take care of us like our mothers. Someone who will accept us for who we effin' are and not just who we can be. Someone who will give us independence and room to grow. (alright I turned out to be a girl after all). In the end it can be anyone's guess. I'm no expert and your guess is as good as mine. 

But seriously, the perfect woman exists... in our dreams. And looking for her is like betting in the lottery--where the probability of winning is essentially the same whether you placed a bet or not. The problem is we still look for them because someone actually wins. Someone's lucky enough to rake it big time. 

The perfect woman may be perfect. But the real thing may even be better. So Anne Curtis you, if you are out there, don't be shy to give me a holler. A chance at reality is all we can ever get. In the end I don't want the perfect woman, I just want the right one. 

Chasing Amy

Caught the movie Chasing Amy in HBO yesterday and I instantly remembered the cheesy lines. Ben Affleck delivered one of the most profound i-am-in-love-with-you-speech in silverscreen history. For what it's worth, I memorized these lines back in highschool. I know, it's gay. Totally. But hey, we've all been there. And it's one heck of a speech. (ok, enough excuses) 


Just sharing:


"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't-I can't look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of." 


Awesome speech. Great movie. Under appreciated. One of those 10 things I hate about you stuff. But if you're not Ben Affleck, don't deliver this yourself or else it won't work. 


It's Tuesday, and I am off to work now. enough of this.

Mr. Brightside

you're amazing just the way you are

One of the things I always remember in evaluating my life, planning the next move and diagnosing the future is everything is self-fulfilling. If you think you're going to screw it up, then you are screwed. But if you think tomorrow is going to be a bright day, then make sure to pack your sunglasses because sunshine is exactly what you are going to get. 

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, this is the usual mantra. Hope that everything will be alright. But it's not that easy to be optimistic when inefficiencies and hangups surround us. It's so easy to be insecure. 

Exhibit A: girl weaves through dozens of wardrobes to look for the perfect (for the lack of better word) get-up, takes a few hours, looks in the mirror and puts on different shades of make-ups, can't decide what to use, takes another hour. And then she becomes upset that her closet isn't big enough, the mirror's making her look fat, and every dress she wears reminds her of her asshole ex boyfriend. Don't even get me started with shoes and bags...

What is this phenomenon? It's called "analysis-paralysis." We analyze too much. We all do, not just girls. 

Exhibit B: Guy's in his car, parked in front of his date's house, waiting nervously for the girl (introduced by his colleagues), thinking about appropriate things to say, trying to smell like a million bucks, cleaning up his trunk and leather seats, playing the third song from his custom-made playlist. With the i-never-been-on-a-date-for-a-year attitude painted on his forehead, he rehearses his "you look amazing" speech, thinking he's in big trouble. 

Yes you are. You are in big trouble because of your insecurities and analysis paralysis. We are all guilty of this in one way or another. But you know what, it doesn't help and we know it. We're so paralyzed by our own thinking that we can't move forward. In the end, you will get what you don't want to get and exactly the opposite of what you ordered. 

But the other way around works. Works like magic. Make a call, like saying "this night is going to be awesome" and don't pretend. You know you are awesome. You should be. And no one's going to steal your thunder tonight. Then walla, we hear music and magic. 

Why is it hard to be optimistic? Because society teaches us to be cynics. Bad experiences. Inexperience. Personal incapacity. Social class. Money. But if we just move past those, if we could just expand our horizons, we'll be a lot better. 

I am Mr. Brightside. I know (we all do) the future is uncertain and there will always be bumps and stopovers along the way.  We know it's not perfect, but it doesn't help if we raise our eyebrows every time we are uncertain about what's going to happen. The bright side is it could have been worse, everything is going to be fine. 

You want an example that's not relationship-based? Look at the stock market. It's full of self-fulfilling prophecies based on calculated risks and analysis-backed valuation. But in the end you have to make a call yourself. And if you believe in it enough that everyone also believes in you, you might just be right. Right now the market is optimistic, bullish, because of PNoy and the economy. Everyone joined the bandwagon. And walla, all-time highs almost everyday for the stock market index (PSEi). 

So choose your pill: Red or blue. Positive or negative. Because there's no turning back. You yourself predict your future, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Forget your weight, forget your smell, forget all the number-crunching statistics. In the end, we make our own fate. And if you believe in it with all your heart, you might just get lucky. 

Money never sleeps

I am at the point of my life where I want to work hard, not because I have to but I really want to. I feel like I am in a position where I can say, "I was born to do this." I think know that working hard your arse out is the price to pay to have a decent living. It doesn't have to be perfect. But just enough.

About three weeks ago, I was visiting my 75-year old lola (Inay Feling) and telling her about how I wake up early and work everyday for about 10-12 hours from 7am. That at first I was really adjusting to how to work really hard and dedicate myself to that goal of success. I was telling her that I was happy about it and I enjoy working in those hours. When I talked to her, it may have sounded that I was bragging (and complaining at the same time) about how I work hard everyday because she blurted out and said, "ako nga, binubuksan ko na yung tindahan ala-sais (6am) pa lang hanggang 6pm na rin." And then I really felt humbled.

Inay works really hard and you have to be amazed how she lives her life while making a decent living selling tricycle parts, hardware and other merchandise near our local town public market (she's probably the Ace Hardware of our small palengke). She will never be a big time entrepreneur (although I honestly think she can if she wanted to) but she does have a knock for hard work. I mean, who works 12hours a day without an aircon, dealing with tricycle and jeepney drivers, carpenters and electricians, and what-have-yous at 75 years of age? It's ridiculous. And that's probably why she's happy, contented, and having the time of her life every second.

Money never sleeps. "Bawal ang tutulog tulog sa pansitan." That's probably why my mom also works until 2am almost everyday while waking up at 6am to work work work. I admire my lola and my mom for having that kind of skill and dedication that I have yet to learn and master. I want to. I will. Because in the end, success is not just around the corner. Not an easy turn or a straight line.

To be successful, you have to work hard. And it means hitting that curveball. It's insanely difficult. Unless you practice and anticipate. Unless you walk the walk. Unless you step up and be someone you read about in Forbes Magazine. Unless you stick your balls out and just do it with all your will and all your heart.

We all say and remember that it's not easy to become a CEO of a big company or a dynamic entrepreneur. But what we all forget is that we all have what it takes. We all forget that we are what dreams are really made of. It's just up to us to do the clockwork.

At this time and age, bawal talaga ang tutulog tulog sa pansitan. You don't have to be the next Henry Sy (or any other self-made billionaires whose names are probably mentioned in the definition of hardwork in the dictionary). But you don't have to be the ordinary Juan de la Cruz also. The problem with many of us is we dream...but we stop there and do nothing about it.

There is no such thing as free lunch, so pay the price.

I want to work hard. Do my best in everything. Do all things well. We all do (I hope). No one should stop you, not even yourself!!! We have no time to waste. Money never sleeps, so why would I right? And at times when I feel like ranting, complaining, and just wanted to blow myself up... I'll just look up and say, what would inay do?

My MBA life in Barcelona...

Barcelona, with Torre Agbar

...would have been great. But like I said earlier, I opted for Plan B. A new career instead. It's hard to regret not having an MBA degree from one of the best business schools in the world in a great city like Barcelona if my plan after the MBA is to get to where I am now. So touche.

But before deciding the ultimate fate of my career back in June, I wallowed at the fact that I've been offered a slot in this year's class in IESE Business School. I've met great people (Tim, Cesca, and Aimee) who are now enjoying their first taste of the Barcelona life as 1st yr IESE MBA students. I've talked to a lot of people about my options, but it all boiled down to what I really need and what I can really afford. But I enjoyed looking at details about the school, the program (and don't worry, I knew most of the details about the program even before I was offered a slot as I should), Barcelona and everything it was advertised to be. 

IESE Business School, Barcelona

The IESE MBA is a bilingual MBA (English-Spanish) program. The school specializes on strategy, business economics, and entrepreneurship. Pretty much like any Ivy-league school in Eastern US right? But what makes IESE MBA different is its graduates are on average allegedly not paid as much as its US counterparts (like Harvard or Wharton). (well, this is partly true although this is not really the differential I would like to point out) Kidding aside, what makes IESE different is its corporate culture that emphasizes on business ethics and the social responsibility of business. Students are taught to focus on what they can do for society, while making reasonable profit, and not on obtaining the highest salaries and bonuses possible. This is, for me, the hook. Because seldom do business schools look outside the window and actually point out social responsibility as a core value of their curriculum and overall business school experience. Also 80% of the students are non-Spanish (talk about being international). Not to mention, Barcelona is a great city.

By European standards, living in Barcelona is relatively cheap. You can rent a really nice and decent 1Br flat by yourself at around 400-700EUR. Plus utilities and adsl (which are all I need), you'll probably have to cash in 800-1KEUR all in all. In Paris, London or Geneva, you'll probably pay at least double the amount for the same flat. So Barcelona was I guess okay. But that's around 60K pesos every month. Definitely way above my pay grade in Manila, but considering other European cities are even more expensive, Barcelona seems to be a great option for economically-challenged-developing-country-dwellers like Filipinos aspiring for first-world business education. 

ordinary night in Barca

So besides nice "cheap" flats, what else is interesting about Barcelona? It's filled with culture. And by culture I mean not just Gaudi and his La Sagrada de Familia church and Park Guel, not just the remnants of the 1992 Olympics, not just the beach (dubbed the best beach city by the National Geographic), not just architecture. Not just form, but more importantly the substance. I heard the parties and events are just sick. Music festivals, sports!!,! street dancing, parties!!!. I also want to learn how to play the Spanish guitar. 

I was excited to get around the city while driving a "moto," riding a bike, or taking the bus (like in most European cities, the moto is the best way to travel around the city with style). I imagine VickyCristinaBarcelona every time I day dream about how I wanted to explore the city during the first few months of my stay in Barcelona. Of course, I wouldn't mind having Scarlett Johansson show me around. I want to stroll down those brick-laden streets and eat some tapas en vino. Bocadillo y pollo. I heard the climate is not that harsh. And Spanish girls are also something. In parties.

Learning Spanish for my MBA should be easy since we Filipinos are exposed to many Spanish words everyday. And I earned a total of 12 units of Spanish language courses back in college, so I felt confident that I can adjust pretty well with the challenges of the tongue. That's until I found out that Barcelona speaks Catalan, which is more French than Spanish-sounding. Great. I bet it's going to be a struggle during the first few months. 

IESE Business School was ran and developed by guys from Harvard themselves. Top notch professors, case-studies that are hard to crack, personalized and mentorship approach to education, a very global mindset---these recipes are music to my ears. And IESE was by far my first choice for an MBA education. (other choices are INSEAD, HKUST, USC, UCLA, Chicago Booth). The city should be exactly what it was advertised to be. Admittedly in hindsight, my MBA in Barcelona would really have been great. In fact, I bet it would be awesome. The best business education in one of the best European cities, booze, culture, a mash of different people. What more can I ask for?

Barcelona would have been awesome. But staying and working here ain't bad either. No sighs. No regrets. What can I say, I still think Makati is the best city and the Philippines is the best country in the world. Because my whole life is here. And I wouldn't have it anywhere else.