Mr. Brightside

you're amazing just the way you are

One of the things I always remember in evaluating my life, planning the next move and diagnosing the future is everything is self-fulfilling. If you think you're going to screw it up, then you are screwed. But if you think tomorrow is going to be a bright day, then make sure to pack your sunglasses because sunshine is exactly what you are going to get. 

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, this is the usual mantra. Hope that everything will be alright. But it's not that easy to be optimistic when inefficiencies and hangups surround us. It's so easy to be insecure. 

Exhibit A: girl weaves through dozens of wardrobes to look for the perfect (for the lack of better word) get-up, takes a few hours, looks in the mirror and puts on different shades of make-ups, can't decide what to use, takes another hour. And then she becomes upset that her closet isn't big enough, the mirror's making her look fat, and every dress she wears reminds her of her asshole ex boyfriend. Don't even get me started with shoes and bags...

What is this phenomenon? It's called "analysis-paralysis." We analyze too much. We all do, not just girls. 

Exhibit B: Guy's in his car, parked in front of his date's house, waiting nervously for the girl (introduced by his colleagues), thinking about appropriate things to say, trying to smell like a million bucks, cleaning up his trunk and leather seats, playing the third song from his custom-made playlist. With the i-never-been-on-a-date-for-a-year attitude painted on his forehead, he rehearses his "you look amazing" speech, thinking he's in big trouble. 

Yes you are. You are in big trouble because of your insecurities and analysis paralysis. We are all guilty of this in one way or another. But you know what, it doesn't help and we know it. We're so paralyzed by our own thinking that we can't move forward. In the end, you will get what you don't want to get and exactly the opposite of what you ordered. 

But the other way around works. Works like magic. Make a call, like saying "this night is going to be awesome" and don't pretend. You know you are awesome. You should be. And no one's going to steal your thunder tonight. Then walla, we hear music and magic. 

Why is it hard to be optimistic? Because society teaches us to be cynics. Bad experiences. Inexperience. Personal incapacity. Social class. Money. But if we just move past those, if we could just expand our horizons, we'll be a lot better. 

I am Mr. Brightside. I know (we all do) the future is uncertain and there will always be bumps and stopovers along the way.  We know it's not perfect, but it doesn't help if we raise our eyebrows every time we are uncertain about what's going to happen. The bright side is it could have been worse, everything is going to be fine. 

You want an example that's not relationship-based? Look at the stock market. It's full of self-fulfilling prophecies based on calculated risks and analysis-backed valuation. But in the end you have to make a call yourself. And if you believe in it enough that everyone also believes in you, you might just be right. Right now the market is optimistic, bullish, because of PNoy and the economy. Everyone joined the bandwagon. And walla, all-time highs almost everyday for the stock market index (PSEi). 

So choose your pill: Red or blue. Positive or negative. Because there's no turning back. You yourself predict your future, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Forget your weight, forget your smell, forget all the number-crunching statistics. In the end, we make our own fate. And if you believe in it with all your heart, you might just get lucky. 

Bearish Sentiments

I need to wake up in five hours but I'm too restless to fall asleep. I had a 12-hour workday today, but I still mustered to hit the treadmill for some cardio exercise. Big day tomorrow. I am tired and I need some rest. But I couldn’t.

For the first time in two weeks I stopped the rhythm. I was on fire. I was getting everything I need. I felt like this is exactly where I want to be, figured everything is exactly what I would have hoped for in the past. But for a split-second it wasn’t. I sighed. And I knew there was something wrong when I shed some tears while watching Mr. Big down on his knees, offering a diamond-clad 500-dollar shoe asking Carrie Bradshaw to marry him.

At that moment I felt like I should just let go. Stop pretending that everything is okay when really, it isn’t. I know I am tough—but deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child. And yes, I do look like one, but the point is like the Gary V song, most people don’t know that I come running home when I fall down. Maybe I should, maybe being EMO for a second wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

Tomorrow morning I’ll wake up feeling better. I know I’ll regain my strides. I know I’ll be fine. But tonight I am not. Tonight I am scared. Tonight I have to admit that this self-wallowing is gratifying. This is the price I have to pay so I can feel better tomorrow.

It’s like the share prices in the stock market. It’s going to correct at a certain point because it’s too high already, that it’s only artificial. Maybe I am like that. I am feeling high about the fact that I love everything that’s happening to me now. Well, ok: most—not everything. But still, this moment is my correction period. My way of telling myself to take it easy because you’ll get that TP (target price) in time. But now you just have to be contented with being traded at a discount.

But I can’t wait to outperform the market. My gut feel tells me the potential upside is limitless.