Of buses, beauty queens, and 21 grams

At any given time, we always count how much we've won and how much we've lost (especially if you're a self-confessed economist). It's easy to count earnings and winnings if you're talking about money or practically everything. But why is it so hard to count the losses? Because at the end of the day, we can't quantify it. We just wish we never lost anything. 


So many events happened in the last 168 hours. Worked for 60. Slept for 40. And what happened in between I try to measure to recount if I gained or lost something. And one look in the mirror says that I've gained a lot in the past few weeks. Weight, that is. Losing this is probably something I'd be happy about. But we all know we gained and lost much more valuable things in the last week than flab and fats. 


For the optimists, the good news is the economy grew by 7.9% in the second quarter of this year, above all consensus and economists estimates. And contrary to what PNoy argued ranted about in his first SONA last month, GMA did need to front-load all the spending needs of the government during the first few months of this year to boost the economy. Even the prophet of boom conveyed that "it would be a sin if GMA didn't do that in the first place." And we all have to thank GMA for a job well done, but "spending millions and millions in a single district in Pampanga" is another story. The market rejoiced at the robust GDP showing, a pleasant surprise for us. And it's up to PNoy and his minions to sustain this kind of momentum. 


I don't know whether to consider Venus Raj's anti-climactic ending to the Ms. Universe campaign as a "major-major" victory for us or a "major-major" shortcoming. The entire thing was filled with drama like a telenovela when Ms.Philippines was called last in the top15-10-5. The gorgeous (but a little exotic for my taste) Venus stole the show up until one of the Baldwin brothers was tasked to ask the ill-fated question that caught our bet off-guard. It was obvious by the classic deflection maneuver--thanking Mr. Baldwin for the question and addressing the crowd. (for the record, I am all for Ximena Navarrete as Ms. Universe. just wow.) But at the end of the day, it was a warm feeling that Venus ended up in the Top5--the highest since 1999 when Miriam Quiambao fell on stage and actually bagged the first runner-up title. For the record, many people feel Ms. Quiambao also faltered in the Q&A portion which begs the question: are Filipinas cut out for impromptu Q&As and speeches? (maybe this is why it's sometimes so hard to get straight answers from girls generally when asked about.... oops never mind)


But what really shocked me during the past seven days was the sudden and tragic demise of another beauty queen, Melody Gersbach. I was never close to Mel but I am around many people who were practically sisters with Mel, and I know many people value her friendship so much. We are in the same DWTL community and for what it's worth we really just lost gained an angel. This is what I am talking about. We really can't quantify how much we've lost especially if it's (or in this case, she's) something(/one) dear to our hearts. The WWJD family offered mass for Mel, and I was--as well as a lot of people-- holding back tears as we sing One Bread and Kaibigan for Mel one last time. Also almost cried when the eulogies were read. I can never understand why something like this happens, but I know as much as you do that everything happens for a reason. God has plans for us and those left to drift the earth for years more must move on and make the best of it. I'm sure Mel had the time of her life, and she lived the 4th day to the fullest. "I never said it would be easy, I just said it would be worth it." Basta ikaw, Mel.


I have nothing but hatred for bus drivers who think they can rule the road, take your lanes, and care about nothing but themselves. So many tragedies involving buses that I am starting to think that driving alongside buses might be as fatal as having a heart attack or an aneurism. 41 died in a bus crash about 10 days ago, who knows how many more died in five-or-so bus accidents I read about earlier this week. Someone please teach those reckless drivers a lesson! Mel did nothing wrong. And most accidents happen because no one but the bus driver made a reckless (and should be avoidable) mistake. geez.


Speaking of buses, 8 people died in a highly-televised 14-hr hostage taking by an ex-cop of a tourist bus. I can't even begin to describe how awful the whole situation was. It's too painful to watch, and we not just lost tourists, but potential tourists, a good and working relationship with HK and China, image, jobs for OFWs, and a lot more. The only winner in this fiasco was the so-called "free" media, who by all means catapulted us into CNN and CNBC fame while giving us an exhibit of "responsible" journalism. And where are all the celebrities and politicians who could have been there to salvage the situation and offer some "star-striking" power to the shutter-island-bound ex-cop? I bet if this hostage-taking happened before the May10 elections, it could have donned another ending. Oh well, lesson learned (I hope). And sorry, no tears or Q&As or hearings can bring those things we lost to justice. 


So how much really have we gained? How much have we lost? In 168 hours, we gained some. We lost some. That's the deal right? We can never explain how much really. One of my favorite movies of all time, 21Grams sums it all up. And I quote Sean Penn as Paul Rivers:


How many lives do we live? How many times do we die? They say we all lose 21 grams... at the exact moment of our death. Everyone. And how much fits into 21 grams? How much is lost? When do we lose 21 grams? How much goes with them? How much is gained? How much is gained? Twenty-one grams. The weight of a stack of five nickels. The weight of a hummingbird. A chocolate bar. How much did 21 grams weigh?  


Really, life may be worth 21 grams. To friends and families of Mel, and all the victims of bus accidents, and the hostages of that ill-fated bus, 21 grams cannot be measured. I wish it is easy to quantify but in the end some things are just priceless. Some things we really can't afford to lose. 


For me, screw the flab and fats. I'd gladly gain 100x 21grams anytime if it means bringing back those lives. If it means recouping all those losses.

TV shows galore

What's your favorite past-time? With the workweek over (it went by so fast that I can't even recount/remember what happened chronologically in between) and me having this inkling that I should have a well-deserved rest--or better yet, vacation--to practically recharge myself and have fresh thoughts for  my work, I resort to watching TV and playing campaign missions on the worldwide phenom strategy game StarCraft 2: Wings of Liberty. Caveat: might be pathetic for some, but I do enjoy how strategy games make me think, and probably lead me to out-of-box solutions. But that's just me.


So on to the not so childish good stuff.


It's saturday again and I can't help but enjoy the time to catch up on movies, books, and TV shows. Out of sheer curiosity (or boredom, depending on how you look at it) I thought of listing down all the TV shows I loved for the past decade and write down why I loved them. It's just amazing because they reflect how I think and what tickles my imagination (no pun intended). So here are the TOP10 TV shows I love. For the record, and (insert sarcasm here:) without any bias, you should try seeing them too.


10. Grey's Anatomy - okay, a lame way to start the countdown since this one is all-drama. Some funny instances but not all that good as a whole if you're not looking for heavy-saturday night tear "jerk time" (again, no pun intended but if you think there is I don't really care and good for you). Meredith Grey is full of quotable quotes about love, life, career, future and every serious and probably boring guys would love to hear. This TV show is for the clingy types, the bookworms and the full-metal jacket emotional people who just love to indulge in self-reflection and dreamy life thinking. Sadly, I am was like that.


9. Heroes (season 1) - ordinary people discovering that they have extraordinary abilities like controlling metals, x-ray visions, regeneration, flight, god-like strength, and my personal favorite: controlling the space-time-continuum? SIGN ME UP. Heroes was very promising at the start, and I really like feeling like Spiderman/Peter Parker (who btw sports a new actor) every time I see those bunch of guys coming in together to survive the world that grows to hate them everyday. Unfortunately though, after a strong first season (season 2 was highly mediocre, and season 3 was just plain crap) this franchise never really delivered within expectations. But I do love the concept because it stirs us into believing we can be special in a way--and this would likely be a plus for us if we reach for our dreams.


8. CSI - Las Vegas is admittedly the best CSI but I've grown to love Miami and NY as well. The story lines were always perfect, and Grissom (LV) was always entertaining (I haven't got time to watch Laurence Fishburne as Dr. Langston but something tells me no one should replace Grissom). His character is really something. But so is H (Miami) played by David Caruso. His demeanor has sarcasm written all over, and I love it. Mac (NY) played by veteran Gary Sinise is also good. But what struck me the most is the unique theme/lighting/hue for each CSI spinoffs. LV is predominantly green, Miami is orangy-red, and NY is blue. You can see the difference watching all three. That is character. Well, with Jerry Bruckheimer at your back, everything should be great.


7. Friends - some people might actually feel offended with me placing Friends so low into this countdown. I won't argue. Many people think Friends is "the" comedy series of our generation (or in this case, more the generation before me). It is. 10 seasons of nonstop fun and crazy-ness. The fab sitcom is your laid-back show that doesn't make you think too much but is just down-to-earth funny. It makes you watch episodes all over and you won't get bored. It's something worth 10hours of marathon watching on a lazy weekend (I know I did that). I give credit to the scriptwriters, this TV show never, even for a heartbeat, lost its wind.




6. Entourage - Vincent Chase and the A-list life on Hollywood. Thank you Mark Wahlberg for this. Your typical boyhood dreams all in one show. What else would you ask for? The Entourage is every bachelor's nirvana--money, cars, fame, and girls, girls, girls (and not relationships?). But of the entourage, I see myself in E the most. I'm the serious guy, the all business, the marrying type; not to mention he's got taste on women (hehe). Entourage is for the boys and rightfully so. They're funny, screwed up, and just plain pathetic. And that's hilarious.


5. Lie to me - I must admit, I'm for the idea that being sarcastic, smart, reckless, and downright straightforward (I just described three directions here) is raunchy. Cal Lightman played by the great Tim Roth is that guy and unfortunately I am not even close to being like him. Most people don't know what this series is--at least I haven't met anyone recently who is even remotely informed of this series--what this is about. But I am currently addicted to this. The bread and butter of this series is exactly what the title says--LIE TO ME. It's about deception experts trying to make a living helping the government, institutions, billionaires and businessmen, and even ordinary people about the truth. They see it in your eyes, your smile, your body language, your tweaks, your jerks, your nonchalant attitude, involuntary responses...practically everything. Isn't that awesome?


4. Big shots - a wildcard here and basically the story is about 4 "big shot" mid-30s executives (CEOs in fact) screwing up their lives in every move they make. This is prolly the older version of Entourage except this is about CEOs really on the top of their games--not some bunch of parasites. If you haven't heard of this series I don't blame you, the network only aired 10 episodes before calling it quits in the middle of the writers' crisis in 2008. This was one of the casualties. There's not much to expect on the story line since it's also straightforward... just having fun while contemplating on the thought that someday I'll be a CEO too.


3. How I met your mother - this is a no brainer. The dudes in HIMYM are all awesome. The script was good and the cast were hilarious. Barney Stinson is THE bro. Marshall is your Napoleon Dynamite, only better, bigger, and wiser. Robin is hot and crazy (I don't know if this is a good combination or not). Lily is your big sister in the group, and she's crazy too. Ted is just pathetic. Some people would think that HIMYM can never replace Friends (well, I concede, both have the same plot and sometimes punchlines but hey, it's not the 90s anymore). For me, HIMYM cannot be compared to Friends even if the similarities are striking. For me, this series brings it. In fact, currently looking forward to next season.


2. Lost - one roller coaster ride. It ended this year with a bang. All the anomalies, the questions, the hype---all of those ended abruptly with most puzzles left unsolved. That's the point really. The concept is scary but this series makes us think a lot about everything, every single detail. This series has the "hook" and every fan knows that it gets frustrating and gratifying at the same time. The beauty of this series lies on the fact that most plots, subplots, and repercussions are open for interpretation. Some people even joke that "this series LOST me at hello." "I got LOST in space." "LOST and never found." (ok, the last one is just me) The point is, the series isn't for everybody. But if you like stirring those brain juices every now and then, better take a second look at probably one of the best-mind-boggling (literally) series of all time.


1. House, MD - when asked about the best series I've watched (and I know I haven't watched that much), I have a straight answer. It's Gregory House, MD. For me the plot----read: misery+brilliance----is very compelling. House is not an idiot, he's just sometimes deranged, sarcastic, nosy, arrogant, and most of the time a pain in the butt, and he's the only one who can fix you. He's surrounded by caring friends who are in it not because they don't have a choice, they just cared so much about House. Superb script, great mix of cast. I do have a soft heart for amazingly arrogant but brilliant bastards who are not loved by others looking from afar but really admired by those who actually know them. House is that guy, and he saves lives in the process of constantly screwing up his own. Genius.


Possible runner-ups: Gossip Girl, Criminal minds, The OC, One tree hill (I know, I'm pathetic and young that time), Prison break (season 1)


Possible but haven't watched: 24, Glee, Dexter, Arrested Development, Chuck, Big Bang Theory


That's it for now, and I am psyched up to watch the new Lie to Me episode I just downloaded earlier. Please don't shoot me if you somehow disagree with this list. Create your own blog if you feel strongly about it. Take it easy now. :) Stinson out!

Famous battlecries... for war or for money?

My colleague always jokes that at the start of a trading frenzy, when everybody's looking to be greedy and looking to take profits or possibly save billions of dollars of funds from devaluation, the perfect huddle words would be the one Maximus Decimus Meridius himself said to his legions before his last epic battle against the barbarians: "At my signal, UNLEASH HELL!!!!" 


Then the trading frenzy begins. Although the PSE does not, in any way, look like Wall Street/NYSE during trading hours--in fact far from it--the excitement should still be there. (Imagine: the volumes being traded at the NYSE on a daily basis can easily be twice the size of our own GDP output for a year!) Funny thing is, I can always imagine greedy sharks in Wall Street to be like Maximus: they are in it to win a war--to outperform the market. To be one step ahead. To conquer. So at the top of my mind, I will try to recall some of the memorable "battlecries" in motion pictures and apply them to probably how traders see the stock market.  


1. Mel Gibson as William Wallace in Braveheart (1995): "they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!" This line is for those traders or fund managers who got burned badly that they resort to extreme measures. And by freedom they mean "freedom to fly."


2. Sam Worthington as Jake Sully in Avatar (2009): "The Sky People have sent us a message... that they can take whatever they want. That no one can stop them. Well, we will send them a message. You ride out as fast as the wind can carry you. You tell the other clans to come. Tell them Toruk Makto calls to them! You fly now, with me! My brothers! Sisters! And we will show the Sky People... that they can not take whatever they want! And that this... this is our land" This is for hotshot but delirious traders who aren't afraid of big guys taking profits while leaving them picking up the pieces. They always feel that the index is their very own "Eywa." They feel the connection. They know it's real. The problem is, Eywa also chooses sides. And the bigger you are, it's almost always: Eywa chooses you.


3. Gerald Butler as King Leonidas in 300 (2006): "Give them nothing, but take from them EVERYTHING!!!" Go figure. For greedy basterds. This is in lieu of my favorite Warren Buffett quote: "Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful." Enough said. 


4. David Wenham as Dillios in 300 (2006): "Give thanks, men, to Leonidas and the brave 300! To Victory!!!!!!!!" Traders thanking everyone for a good job as the Dow Jones (or the PSEi) rose 300 points despite all odds. 


5. Bill Pullman as President Thomas Whitmore in Independence Day (1996): "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Because today, we will celebrate, our independence day!!!" I imagine this will be quite fitting for a Lehman Brothers-type trader to say during the second week of September 2008. His company just reported a net loss of $3.9bn. True enough, few days later he achieved freedom along with thousands of his colleagues as his company literally died. 


6. Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy (2004): "Immortality! Take it, it's yourssss!!!!" a trader/broker desperate to sell his plunging stock. Convincing others that the stock is cheap and they're in for some serious upsides. But in reality, it's trash. 

7. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003): "For Frodo!" This battlecry is clearly fit for a trader who burned some money he obviously didn't own but can't do anything about it except live and die another trading day. He slept for one night (assuming he got any) and then the next day had nothing in mind but to reclaim all the money he lost the day before... for his little friend Frodo. The question is, will Frodo ever trust him again? (this is lame and just plain bad blogging. haha)


Anyway, I couldn't think of anything more worth noting at the moment, but will update this post once something comes to mind. 


In the end, it doesn't matter how you look at this. There will always be cheesy lines in hollywood movies, and it is really funny if we apply it in some situations. Happy trading guys! A-wooo a-wooo!!! This is SPARTAAAAAAAA!!!!! (I hope by this the trader doesn't mean we have to end up wearing diapers and red cloaks for dinner, sans the abs. That would be gross.)

Waiting in Vain

"Waiting in Vain" From Flickriver (MarcoShenone)

I've been rereading my blogposts from my defunct multiply account and just thought this will be a good repost. Posted three years ago (July 2007). My excuse to post without writing anything new. 

An average person spends roughly around 5 years of his life just waiting. By waiting I mean like waiting for a cab, waiting for food to be served, waiting for your name to be called on the pay counter, or waiting for your yaya to fetch you from school. Small things, really. Things that makes us idle for a while. Naghihintay lang. And with the fast-pace lifestyle we are used to, 5 years is a lot of time. For one, an average lifespan is only 60 years; this makes our waiting time about 8.3% of our lives. For every twelve minutes of our lives, we spend one minute waiting. And this waiting is not even useful, not something you deliberately want to do. Not waiting for big things. Mga mabababaw na bagay lang.

If you’ll think about it, waiting is not that bad at all. Waiting for your coffee to be served for one is not bad at all, but what if you can spend those 5 precious years of waiting for small things for something greater, something fabulous, something legendary, and something you know will be the defining moment of your existence? If that’s the case, then I honestly despise waiting. Iisipin mo na pwede mo pang mabago ang buhay mo with that 5 years. You can make your life better; you can spend more time with the things and persons you truly love. 


Or, you can even destroy your life.

But the point is, nakakapaghintay tayu para sa mga walang kwentang bagay, mga bagay na kaya mo lang hinihintay ay no choice ka… 5 years of our lives dedicated to be transaction costs for small things… Sana lang, wag na natin dagdagan. Don’t waste your life waiting for something nice to happen, waiting for the opportune time, waiting for a miracle. Make a move and do it yourself. Make your own miracle. Carpe Diem! Otherwise, 5 becomes 10 becomes 20 becomes 40 years and you’ll end up watching your own life pass you by.

This applies to everything: your career, your love life, your spiritual formation, your interests, your passion. It is really hard not to wait because it is more comfortable. Sasabihin natin na bukas nalang, or saka na lang, or wag na lang. Iniiwasan natin kasi di natin alam kung kaya ba natin harapin. Or tinatamad lang talaga tayo. It is very comfortable to wait, especially if you know you have time to spare. If you think you can give up about 20 years of your life for waiting, then good for you. But there is no going back. Wala nang what ifs.

When you’re old and cranky, disabled and worn off, how would you like to describe your life? Full of waiting or one heck of a ride? I’d gladly take the second one. I’m sure you’ll pick that too. We don’t want to have regrets, and we sure don’t have time to waste. There is only one road to take for our journey in life. Make sure to choose the right stopovers along the way. Walang reverse eh. So wag na natin dagdagan pa ang paghihintay, 5 years waiting for nonsense is enough. Gawin mo na…

Now the question really is: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

The Masochist Poet

I remember in 500 Days of Summer Mckenzie (Geoffrey Arend) told Tom Hanzen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt): "They say the best way to get over a girl is to turn her into literature."

Is writing all about the pain, suffering, misfortunes, tragedies, complexities and circumstances really the PRICE to pay to move on and prolly get up and say, I'll be fine? In some cases, yes it is.  Self wallowing is gratifying. But in the end, it's not really writing about it that makes us move on. It's reading and practically laughing out loud about it two or three years later.

What literature does is get our creative juices flowing while at the same time looking deep into our conscience for warmth and that candid feeling. Those spontaneous and instantaneous thoughts that will just disappear if not written down. That longing to describe and comprehend the moment and how that moment occupies our mind. In other words, we just want to be heard when no one else does.

What's so gratifying in that? It's painful to recount and describe how we are feeling at those random moments of pure sadness and downright awfulness. And you say that's the best way to get over someone or something for that matter? Come on. It's not gratifying. It's masochism.

So what's the point of writing all about our failures, our shortcomings and our own demise? It's like a blog. A diary to remind you of how you shouldn't do it all over again. Right? But for me, the only price we have to pay to get over that hump is not through the masochistic literature writing but through patience. Yeah, think about it over night and wake up the next day looking forward (not looking backwards). Look forward to a brighter day. Our lives are too short for us to be backtracking everyday. Or our lives is not the price to pay to escape this madness.

But some people can't handle it. Well, when someone lost billions of dollars (worse, not even your money), it's a lot crazier than losing some girl over a fight. So I'd give them that. So much for sob stories on paper for them.

The Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome

What's the craziest thing you've done lately?

After watching the 1967 classic Bonnie and Clyde, I feel ecstatic (and prolly bored of myself). You have two young people (read: Clyde was 25 and Bonnie was 23 years old then), robbing banks and killing people all over Central America. They had the time of their lives--after all, they live in the Great Depression era where you see people living in their cars without a penny in their pockets while banks foreclosed all their belongings. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were AWESOME. But best of all, they were head-over-heels in love with each other. 

I always knew that their story was about two lovers-bandits-outlaws trying to emulate Jesse James in 20th Century America. But I didn't know how it really felt when I saw it in their eyes. (Ok, what I really saw were two great actors--Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty--acting as lovers. And when you have Hollywood hunk Warren and drop-dead-gorgeous Faye together in the silverscreen, it's not that hard to fall in love with their characters. But that's not my point.) Bonnie was, and if the script was at least half accurate, madly in love with Clyde. While Faye's physique (and looks) in this movie is somewhat distracting to my analysis of the love story, I concluded that what Bonnie and Clyde had was really special.

I am not writing this to offer a 40-year-delayed review of the Bonnie and Clyde film which is btw a thing of beauty. What I am most affected about is how the true story of Bonnie and Clyde were all about. Yes there were countless crazy things they've done during a 2-year hiatus of robberies, killings, and evasion from the law. Yes they were immortalized by what they did to rob banks, gas stations, grocery stores. But their true story was about love. Everything else they did were collateral damages. And for what it's worth I do hope most people find that type of love during these times. And if I have to be a criminal to find that feeling, I might still consider it. 

Funny thing is we do a lot of crazy things in life that we are aware about. Sometimes we're ashamed, most things we did we're not proud of. So I admire Bonnie's conviction to stay with Clyde--and as Jay-Z and Beyonce (circa 2003) woud put it, "all I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend... down to ride 'till the very end, it's me and my boyfriend." They lived a crazy life but they had one heck of a ride. And they were until their very deaths proud of it.

Those two died when they were around my current age. I can tell you now that I never robbed a bank (or a gasoline station), I never killed anyone (although I wouldn't be surprised to find out that most people have killed other people inside their heads and in their memories), I never evaded arrest (except maybe for a few MMDA/TMG traffic rule violations), but like most people I loved. I love. We love. 

It doesn't matter if we love ourselves, our careers, our families, friends, possessions, and all the worldly things. We love. And it gets crazy because love defies conventions and laws (exhibit A: Bonnie and Clyde). Love defies rationality. Love defies cultures, differences, dreams, plans, circumstances, adversities, diet, traffic rules, and even gravity. Even the Discovery Channel knows this. And when you think about it, love indeed conquers all. 

The only problem is if we loved ourselves too much. But that's another story right?

So to answer the question at the beginning of this post, I think it suffices to say that the craziest thing we did--all of us--lately is to love. Like I said, it doesn't matter who or what you loved. You just did. It is crazy. And (I hope I'm not being blasphemous by saying this) even God loves us even if it doesn't makes sense for us to be loved at all by Him (and I'm not saying God's crazy). We love. Period. Our lives are full of Bonnie and Clyde events. But I'm sure most of us just wish we could find love in another's eyes (this again is another story). 

Thanks to Bonnie and Clyde, now I realized so many things about love that I ruined my Saturday afternoon nap in the process. Cheers to one of the loveliest love story of all time (for me at least). For what it's worth, it makes me want to cry (want is the operative word here). 

Now that this is out of the way, let me get that well-deserved nap. Out.