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| like a shooting star, we fall |
Shooting stars fall. And sadly (or comically depending on where you're coming from), so do we. We fall. Hard. Deep. In line. Into place. In love. Hard when we are clumsy. Deep when we are too high. In line when we have to, because we have to. Into place when we work for it. In love when-ever. Whenever we have the chance.
Exactly two weeks ago, my birthday night... After dinner and drinks, I was looking up above. For a long time I've never seen so many stars in one clear sky (I guess too many skyscrapers, pollution, concrete, and night lights in Metro Manila). I was delighted, I felt the cool breeze of the sea, heard the sound of the waves and the silence of the night. I wished for time to stand still and let me stare at the gorgeous view of the sea and the night sky. Nothing else matters.
We stared and marveled at the constellations, trying to connect the white dots and come up with all sorts of shapes while we talk about hopes and dreams. For 15 minutes we looked above, and right there and then a shooting star came as we were staring at one part of the sky. Closed my eyes and made a wish. I got a shooting star for my birthday... and it was a perfect cap for the night.
It lasted for less than a second.
A small debris of meteor rapidly moving towards the earth's atmosphere. And I believed. We all believed that it can grant us a wish. We fall to the idea of having extraterrestrial projectiles that will
help make us feel better... about our outlook in life. about our uncertain future. about what we always wanted to have. Because we fall in life--mistakes, embarrassments, shortcomings. Like shooting stars, we fall. And sometimes we all wish that it was just for less than a second.
Why is it so difficult to fall? Why shouldn't we? Why do we fall HARD? Because we are made to stand up. We don't want to fall because it's a mistake. By Webster definition, it doesn't sound good: moving downward, typically rapidly and freely without any control from a higher to a lower level. Operative word is control. We lose control...when all the time we wanted to be in control. Of our fate. Of our lives. But we can't avoid it as much as we want to...no matter how much we try to avoid it...no matter how much we prepared for it. We fall hard. And most of the time we're still caught off guard.
That's also why we fall DEEP. We wallow on the fact that we did fall. That it's something we can't explain. Something that's beyond comprehension. That even if we did prepare, something will put us out of control.... it hits our pride. Our position. Our worldview.
Like shooting stars, we fall. We fall IN LINE. Wait for our turn. Fall in line because we can't have it all in one place and all at the same time. We fall in line and stay there because it's required. We fall in line, maybe like stars, where we are placed meticulously under the night sky. For people to stare at. Or another way to put it is... for us to shine for others. Be someone's guiding light. It's not so bad to fall in line. To be in place and be there for a reason. Maybe waiting for our chance, waiting for our turn. Just be there. Standing still. Until it's time to shine.
And when our turn comes, we still fall.
We fall INTO PLACE. After we give in to that hard fall, commit to the danger... after that split second ecstasy, after we wallow into the mistakes, the past and all we hesitate to let go... after patiently waiting for our turn... we still fall...and we fall into place like it should. We went down, lose control, wait a little. and then we stand up. We fall into place...we stand up. To where we really belong. Everything will fall into place like what most people say. It doesn't matter now. Here we go. Where like shooting stars we fall and then finally commingle with the sky.
I guess It's okay to fall. We all do. We make mistakes. We struggle. We become weak. We lose control. We all fall. What matters is how we all get up, right? What matters is we do stand up and move on. Or better yet accept the fall and work through it.
This is where we are now. We fall in love. It's not a bad thing to fall in love, whatever the consequence is. At least we know we can. That we are capable of letting go of all the senses. Letting go of free will. Letting go of what's comfortable. Letting of of ourselves for another. We fall in love and can't explain it. Until we realize that it all happens in one instant--like a split-second shooting star. It all happens at one time--we fall hard, deeply, in line, into place. And we don't want to be anywhere else feeling something else. The sky is clear, and the sea is almost as calm as the night. It all happens there. And nothing else would matter because you can't figure it out but it's okay. We are shooting stars.
I guess the explanation for them all lies at the fact that when it does happen... we just wish there is something to cushion the fall. Something that will not just make the fall easier... but something that will make us want to do it all over again.
We're not perfect individuals. We fall like a shooting star. And I don't know about you guys... but I wish I am a shooting star, so that for every time I fall (in love) I'll be granting someone a wish... but unlike a shooting star, I'm not gonna be here for a split second... but for a lifetime.
