Teenage dream

my teenage dream

You're 14. What do you know about love? Okay, that's rhetoric. I'm almost twice that age and i still don't know what I know about love. Ask your parents, or grandparents. What do we know about love? Socrates may have the answer, because he said "all I know is I know nothing."

So kiddo, you're 14 and you "fell in love" with a girl in your school. She used to be your seat mate back in second grade and you once lent her your pencil. You teased her a lot--about her weight, her bad breath, her ridiculous accent, her sticky skin, her crappy hello kitty notebooks and most of all her big bulky curly hair. 

But after six years of growing pains and boyhood you realized the opposite sex is called the "opposite sex" for something. That somehow your being a tool's got to change fast. What was that feeling? Every time you see the girl you used to beat the crap out of back in grade school is growing to become a fine woman, there was an adrenaline rush... something came up (no pun intended) and it's called a teenage dream. Smitten by her long black hair, white teeth without braces, sparkling eyes, suddenly she smells great... she's now taller than you, growing in all sort of places you used to puke about.  

My oh my how she's grown to be someone you never thought you would like. And that feeling is priceless. Savor it. It's not first love. Might be puppy love. But what it really is... is your only fond memory of your innocence on attraction. Naivete. What do you know about love? Let me guess, it's the longing for someone's attention, for some connection, for something you and the other can share. The feeling that you should spend 24/7 with that person. The only one who matters. The world stops and your heart skips a beat. You've never felt this way before. And you'll die tomorrow if you can't let this all out today. You had to try and say it. Nothing is more important.

My friend, you are dead wrong. Like you were wrong about the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. Like you were wrong about wrestling and Superman. It gets complicated. Talk to me after 10 years and tell me what you think love is. Talk to me after 20, 30, 40 years and tell me something about love. You will never look at love the same way you look at that girl who caught your eye in high school like living will never be the same again. 

I just wish it is as simple as that. Back in high school you just have a crush, and for all you know she's already the one. We've all been there. I get it that Katy Perry sang about living a teenage dream. It's when life is so simple that you don't have to worry about getting married, having kids, paying the bills and amortizing your house. It's the only time you don't have to worry about not getting along, compromising, and breaking each other's neck for all you care. The only thing you care about is the two of you... the world can end.

10 years later, you're 24 (obviously I can add). At this day and age it's hard to find a teenage dreamy feeling. The world's not as simple as it was back in high school. Besides, the girl in your teenage dreams might have ended up looking like an elephant 10 years later. Kidding aside, ignorance is really sometimes better. Innocence is better. Because the world is not as great as advertised. You would want to be a 14-year old loser all your life because the world is a bigger bully than all the jocks in high school combined. 

And if you're looking for the girl of your dreams.... sure there are plenty of fishes in the sea. The perfect woman is maybe out there. But love is hard to find. It's okay to feel teeny dreamy every now and then but it shouldn't rock your world like when you were 14. Be mature. Enjoy. In the end we all know nothing about love. About relationships and how it's going to turn out. We just don't. It's a good feeling. But a teenage dream is still just a dream. You will have to wake up sooner or later.

So be sure to choose the right one. Take your time. Don't rush it like a teenage dream. Because remember... there's always a bigger fish. Make sure you won't regret eating a catfish when a caviar comes along. 

If you're 14 and having a teenage dream, enjoy. If you're my age and having the same dream, wake up. It's probably a bad one. But if you can't help it, I just hope you have a dreamcatcher. It might be worth the try. 

Pipe dream

I will never be this guy

I always talk about dreaming big. After all, I am the Dream Economist. For me, all you need is a pair of hope, a cup of will, an ounce of determination, and a tablespoon of looking at the brightside. And there you have it, the recipe for success. For reaching that big dream. It works. Look at the Forbes Magazine-worthy life-stories of tycoons and you'll hear them say the same thing. 

But what if those are not enough? Is there such a thing as hard luck? Unfortunately, there is.

Better be lucky than great. No matter how much effort or time you put into it, sometimes those are not good enough. Sometimes, luck is what separates billionaires from the poor, haves from the have-nots, and kingpins from the slaves. Luck is the kicker, the thing that not everyone has. Luck essentially catapults an individual from nothingness to awesomeness. 

I mean look at Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. I am sure there are other people who are capable of coming up with personal computers in the 70s, but these two pulled it off with a combination of right timing and opportunities presented. Maybe right timing is everything. Maybe. But what if that time doesn't come? Mr. Gates and Mr. Jobs both had the right time on their teams. 

Look at Charice Pempengco. She didn't win a local contest in the Philippines but was lucky enough to be discovered by the likes of David Foster and Oprah Winfrey. I am sure, there are thousands of talents that are much better than her without a record label or any opportunity to showcase their talents. AT ALL. (not that I am not impressed with her, but I know there are a lot of people waiting to be given a chance)

Look at Manny Pacquaio. Look at the winners of reality TV shows who are now famous for who-knows-what. Look at lottery winners who became instant millionaires.

Reality is harsh. Because not every one has the same share of the pie. Big slices are allocated for a selected few--no matter how we feel we are more deserving than those few people. While economics deal with the allocation of scarce resources, sometimes economics is a b*tch because that allocation is skewed towards the lucky few. The spread of luck is uneven. (and now the more reason to hate life?)

I am not saying lucky people aren't deserving to have luck on their sides. I am not saying they didn't work hard to be in that position (I am sure they did). But luck is a breakthrough everyone should have and not just a select few. At least that's how I feel about it. 

Oh well that's life. And most people end up by saying "I make my own luck." That's true. Create opportunities. Work around the system. Hard luck doesn't have to stop us from accomplishing that dream. What's the cliche "try and try until you succeed" is for anyway? 

For me, yes. Pipe dreams do exist. I know for sure that I won't be a billionaire by the time I am 40 (which means I am still hoping to be a billionaire when I'm fifty haha). I know for sure that I won't grow any taller than I already am (which is just sad but I've accepted that God compensated my physical limitations with something else...). I know for sure that I won't be like John Mayer or Jason Mraz (although I somehow think my music is worth listening to). I needed luck to have all of those. But LUCK didn't go so well for me in those aspirations. 

But we all have to look past those luck issues and start making up for it in other ways. I always say it could have been worse. Yeah, it could have been worse. Look at this video. In the end we are all lucky to be here. To be where we are now, no matter how much we feel deprived of the things we want and the things we need.

Luck may be what separates us from our pipe dreams, wants, and what-have-yous. We can all have the recipes for success and it may not be enough still. We may consider luck as the secret ingredient. But it shouldn't stop us from living life to the fullest. Luck may be a shortcut and your ticket to whatever. But when the dust settles, the important thing to remember is to make the best use of what we have, and not what we can/should/could have. Life ain't measured by the end result--because we all have the same ending anyways--but by the means, effort and journeys we took. We can always take a jab at dreams and successes everyday. 

And luck is just there to make things a little more interesting. 

The Perfect Woman

she's right up there

No boys, it's not Anne Curtis Smith. Although in my list she might be right up there.  It's not Ximena Navarette. Although the title she represents puts her in that position easily. It's not Miranda effin' Kerr. Although everybody envies Orlando Bloom for snagging that one (really good job Mr. Bloom). 

It's certainly not Pokwang (at least according to Mo Twister). Not even Queen Latifah, Hilary Swank or Julia Roberts. Certainly not Vice Ganda (although the category might not fit him/her in the first place). And no "although" in this paragraph.

The bottom line is, we men are superficial at first. We know a good one when we see it. We appreciate physical beauty. But that's just the surface. Because in the end, looks account for nothing if you don't bring in the substance. 

And the criteria's not the same for everyone. Some like it hot, some like it simple. Some guys like the smile, some like the dimples. Some like big bold eyes, some are into Chinitas. Some like girls with short boyish hair, some people prefer long black hair. Some guys prefer fair complexions, while others are into morenas. 

Judging physical beauty is complicated. It really is in the eye of the beholder. But what makes a difference is the way she handles herself. If she reveals her true aura. Because girls--no matter how pretty--are still insecure. But if girls could just move past those insecurities and reveal who they really are, then it's a whole new ballgame. Men (well at least I speak for my not-so-superficial self, who can be found every now and then) also like character. Not just legs, fronts and be-hinds although those would be nice. Okay that's a little hard to accept, but if you're looking for smart-straight-eligible guys, prolonged affection should be supported by character.

Sad part is, guys only find a girl's real character after several dates, several months... several years. or even more. In economics, this problem is called Asymmetric Information. A guy may know something that the girl doesn't and vice-versa (and it's easy to take advantage of the situation because of this). There's no such thing as perfect information. If there is, then the market is operating under a perfect condition. We are always correct, and we always get what we paid for. So guys (like girls) have criteria for defining a perfect woman and it may include a lot of fronts, backs, aboves and belows, but it's incomplete. Girl may be all those, but she's keeping something that will be discovered after a long period of time. Guys are like that too. 

Girls are famous for their usually high standards for guys, e.g. tall dark and handsome (which is I consider poetic since I don't have any of those... haha). Then they have the smart, independent and rich criteria. But in the end they end up with bad boys with tattoos and a killer instinct. But this is another story. Girls are famous for their standards, and guys have their own. But really, what are standards for? 

I'd gladly have a girl who's 5'7" tall, fair-skinned, with long black hair and killer smile, eyes worth a million bucks and a pair of legs to die for. But that doesn't stop there. The list goes on and on. And the irony of it all is you throw it all away just for anyone. For someone you met at the bar, or for some childhood friend in your teenage dreams. Standards are just there to confuse us guys from defining what we want from what we need. Substance should make or break a budding relationship. Substance prolongs attraction. Substance REPLACES attraction. 

The perfect woman may be someone who will take care of us like our mothers. Someone who will accept us for who we effin' are and not just who we can be. Someone who will give us independence and room to grow. (alright I turned out to be a girl after all). In the end it can be anyone's guess. I'm no expert and your guess is as good as mine. 

But seriously, the perfect woman exists... in our dreams. And looking for her is like betting in the lottery--where the probability of winning is essentially the same whether you placed a bet or not. The problem is we still look for them because someone actually wins. Someone's lucky enough to rake it big time. 

The perfect woman may be perfect. But the real thing may even be better. So Anne Curtis you, if you are out there, don't be shy to give me a holler. A chance at reality is all we can ever get. In the end I don't want the perfect woman, I just want the right one. 

Chasing Amy

Caught the movie Chasing Amy in HBO yesterday and I instantly remembered the cheesy lines. Ben Affleck delivered one of the most profound i-am-in-love-with-you-speech in silverscreen history. For what it's worth, I memorized these lines back in highschool. I know, it's gay. Totally. But hey, we've all been there. And it's one heck of a speech. (ok, enough excuses) 


Just sharing:


"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't-I can't look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of." 


Awesome speech. Great movie. Under appreciated. One of those 10 things I hate about you stuff. But if you're not Ben Affleck, don't deliver this yourself or else it won't work. 


It's Tuesday, and I am off to work now. enough of this.